Something Wicked: July 2013

We grew up a little morbid. Megan had a live-size cardboard cutout of the Addams Family in her room that our Grandfather somehow got from some video store when the first movie remake came out. All Anna Belle wanted for Christmas was a ouija board. Our grandmother once sent us a package with "Don't open until Oct. 31" written on it. What was inside? A creepy doll that we used in our Halloween porch decorations for several years afterwards. So, it makes perfect sense that every Saturday at 9:30pm we turned out the lights, tuned into Nickelodeon, and squealed when the opening scene of "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" began. Children of the 90s' everywhere will recall the flashes of an old boat on a shore, the creaking of a door opening to a dusty attic, and that creepy opening music. When we realized that we could watch a bunch of episodes through Amazon Prime, it was like stepping back into our childhood - a childhood filled with neighbors who sleep in coffins, watchers in the woods, and Dr. Vink. We also made the realization that we really watched way too much television as kids.

And apparently so did a lot of other people, because there are tons of articles and blogs out there on the show. Buzzfeed listed their top 35 creepiest characters and a blog named My Rotting Brain has hilariously reviewed a nice handful of episodes. Buzzfeed also tracked down the Midnight Society members in a "Where are they now?" article which totally blew our minds.

In tribute to one of of our favorite television shows, we both picked our top 2 "Are You Afraid of the Dark" episodes. Please, if you loved this show as much as we did, comment below and share your favorites with us!

Anna Belle's #1 "Are You Afraid of the Dark" Pick

For me, "Are You Afraid of the Dark" was at its best when it was equal parts creepy and sweet. I'm sure that sounds a little strange, but let me explain. I've always loved being scared by this show. I still get nightmares about "The Tale of the Quicksilver". Every time I've been in a pool since seeing "The Tale of the Dead Man’s Float,” I have been certain that boy's ghost is going to come out of the water. But there's something oddly comforting about the fact that amidst all the scary moments, (almost) every time things turn out okay. The kids stop the evil guy, or the spirit is laid to rest forever, or maybe there's even a tearful reunion of some sort. So, that's why "The Tale of the Lonely Ghost" is one of my favorites. First off, this episode has an element that is globally considered to be terrifying: a creepy little girl ghost. She comes out of mirrors and writes everything backwards, including the words, "HELP ME." So, that's really not cool.

The story starts when two cousins are forced to spend the summer together. Amanda (the nicer, more-likely-to-help-ghosts cousin) is straight-laced, and wears only ill-fitting collared shirts. Beth (the snobbish, more-likely-to-yell-when-you-touch-her-stuffed-animals cousin) has a live-in nanny that she hates and her own group of friends to boss around all summer. She doesn’t want anything to do with her cousin - that is, until she realizes she can make her look stupid by telling her that the only way Amanda can hang out with Beth and her super-cool friends all summer is if she goes through with the initiation of spending a night in the haunted house next door.

Although this isn’t just some random haunted house, it becomes clear that there is some connection between Beth’s nanny and the house. Maybe that’s why Beth treats her nanny so terribly, at one point Beth tells Amanda in a scream-shout that she’ll never let her touch any of her things again if she so much as shakes hands with Nanny. She’s a real charmer, this Beth.

The story is that the house is haunted by a mute girl who died following a horrible prank. The girl’s mother had to leave her there and the girl was supposed to stay with her aunt but some neighborhood bullies scared her into staying in her room - until she died. Once inside the house, Amanda does exactly what I would do if I was trapped in a room with a little girl ghost - scream, keep trying to open the clearly locked door, scream again and when all that fails, cower into a little ball and hide behind my hair. But she calms down enough to realize that the little girl is giving her a locket - with a picture of Nanny on it, because - plot twist! - she is the little girl’s mother.

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This poor woman has apparently been caring for the hideously-behaved Beth because she’s been wracked with guilt over the loss of her daughter. Amanda gets Nanny and brings her back to the house - where after seeing the ghost of her daughter she says, “You’ve been here, all this time!” Which is not true. She’s been dead all this time. But that mother-daughter bond is pretty strong.

So, in the end, this episode is actually quite touching and it’s filled with a lot of little details that I think really add to the overall depth of the story. Beth’s mother is a real estate agent who has the herculean task of selling the haunted house next door and at the opening of the episode you see the “For Sale” sign slowly falling over the ground. It happens again even after Beth’s mother puts it back up while complaining that “this house just doesn’t want to be sold.” It’s those little things that make the episode interesting even after I’ve seen it a hundred times.

Anna Belle's #2 "Are You Afraid of the Dark" Pick

“The Tale of the Dollmaker” is about a friendship between two girls - Melissa and Susan. Melissa only sees Susan when she visits her aunt and uncle who live next door to Susan’s family, The Hendersons. One weekend, Melissa comes to stay and is excited to see Susan again, until her aunt explains that the Hendersons recently moved away. Melissa is obviously pretty disappointed, especially because her aunt and uncle clearly have no clue what children enjoy - her aunt wants her to come to bingo, and her uncle literally asks her if she wants to help fix the septic tank.

So Melissa goes searching in Susan’s old house, and finds a secret staircase to an attic. Inside the attic is a beautiful doll house - one of those ridiculously detailed ones, complete with a little bowl of fruit on a little table and little Impressionist paintings on the walls.

Melissa also notices a door in the attic that seems like it should lead to outside. After some questioning, Melissa’s aunt reveals the truth - the Hendersons left because Susan disappeared. They moved away but kept the house, “just in case Susan ever comes back.” That night, Melissa is lured back to the house by flashing lights and a voice calling her name. Now Melissa gets to open that weird door in the attic - but it leads to a hallway. And there’s Susan! But she seems disoriented and her face is painted white - almost like a doll’s face. Dun dun dun! Melissa throws one leg over the edge and is about to step into the hallway when her uncle grabs her and pulls her back into the attic. Melissa screams that they have to go rescue Susan until her uncle takes her to the door and shows her - there’s no more hallway on the other side of the door, just the two-story fall to the ground below. The next morning, her uncle boards up the attic door - they sure as hell aren’t going to lose their niece because she can’t recognize the difference between doors to rooms and doors to fatal drops. And they won’t listen to Melissa’s protests that if they board up the door, Susan will never be able to get out. Aunts and uncles just don’t understand.

Boards don’t keep Melissa out anyway, because she gets into the hallway and quickly realizes that stepping through this door puts her inside the dollhouse. When she finds Susan, it’s obvious that she’s almost completely doll-ified.

What’s worse, after only a few minutes Melissa notices her hands are starting to turn the same porcelain white as Susan’s face. The girls realize the only way to escape is to get to the attic of the dollhouse, and go through the door there. As Melissa pulls Susan towards the door, her porcelain hand falls to the floor. Melissa gives Susan a look like, “Oh, how awkward,” picks up the hand and puts it in Susan’s pocket. You know, for safe-keeping. When Melissa opens up the doll house attic door, it doesn’t lead back into the real house’s attic - it instead shows the two-story drop. But at this point, what do they have to lose? Except for more hands? Thankfully, they land back in the real world and Melissa’s uncle burns the dollhouse, so that no one can get lost in there again.

It’s interesting because the episode is titled “The Tale of the Dollmaker” which makes you think that there’s going to be some crazy old man in a workshop surrounded by dolls. But as the episode progresses, it becomes clear that the house is the dollmaker, a twist that is something different for "Are You Afraid of the Dark." I always thought this episode was among the strangest, but it wasn’t until re-watching it that I realized it is one of my favorites. It doesn’t take the easy creepy doll route, but creates completely new territory which I always appreciate when it comes to scary stories.

Megan's #1 "Are You Afraid of the Dark" Pick

"The Tale of the Twisted Claw" has always hit home for me because it is set during Halloween. "Are You Afraid of the Dark" did a good job of not overusing the holiday as jumping off point for episodes, which I think makes those Halloween episodes extra special. The story begins on the night before Halloween, referred to by the narrator as "mischief night." I don't know what crazy city this story is set in, but I don't remember punk kids running around the night before Halloween tee-peeing houses and spraying Barbasol shaving cream in people's faces. Apparently the day before Halloween has also been called "Devil's Night" and led to some pretty horrible arson and vandalism in Detroit in the 70s-90s. Kind of makes the whole shaving cream prank seem pretty tame.

The trouble begins when two little boys, Dougie and Kevin, pull a pre-Halloween prank on the wrong person--a lady named Miss Clove who has the reputation of being a witch. One of the boys, Kevin, bullies Dougie, the more rule-abiding of the two, into playing a prank on Miss Clove so they'll gain some major street cred. "Are You Afraid of the Dark" + character that is a bully = bad things to come. The boys surprise Miss Clove with some shaving cream to the face and as she stumbles around she smashes a large vase in her entryway to pieces. Once she composes herself, Miss Clove watches the boys scamper off and proceeds to laugh maniacally into the night. May I say that the actress that plays Miss Clove is spectacular? She would absolutely be at home turning little boys into mice at an English seaside hotel.

The boys are foolish enough to push their luck and return to Miss Clove's house for Halloween--again, because they'd be able to tell their friends how they laugh in the face of danger. Miss Clove thanks them for coming by, skips the customary candy reward, and presents them with a twisted claw. This episode is largely based on the short story by W.W. Jacobs, The Monkey's Paw. In this version, a piece of wood is fashioned into a vulture claw that grants its owners three wishes each. The two boys soon learn that each time they make a wish, it comes true through very sinister means.

What I love about this episode is that it's got great mischievous spirit--it's about a power that grants dreams and wishes, but at an unexpected price. Super creepy masked teenagers put an end to their night of trick or treating when Dougie wants to go home, a burly "grim-from-Harry-Potter" dog comes out of nowhere and breaks a boy's leg so Kevin can win a race, Dougie's parents die in a freak car accident, and a long-dead Grandfather rolls up in his car and knocks on the door for a visit. I remember as a kid being particularly creeped out by the thought that the rotting corpse of a dead relative was just casually stopping by. Dougie comes to his senses and wrestles his way to the claw to wish that they never went to Miss Clove's house. The claw disappears, Grandpa is gone, parents are once again kicking, and all is right. What makes this episode special and extra memorable is the ending that brings the mischievous story full circle. Just as the boys breathe a sigh of relief, the doorbell rings. Rightfully so they cautiously open the door and find the broken vase whole once more with a simple note included.

Megan's #2 "Are You Afraid of the Dark" Pick

While I truly craved and loved the scarier AYAOTD episodes, there is one that stands out because of its excellent combination of giggles and goosebumps. "The Tale of the Ghastly Grinner" is story of an aspiring young comic book artist named Ethan who unwittingly unleashes a psychotic villain into the world after microwaving a sopping wet comic. I remember thinking as a kid that microwaving paper was a bad idea and was alarmed by how many buttons Ethan pressed on the microwave and then just walked away. This poor kid has parents that really don't care that he exists--they are basically clones of Danny DeVito's and Rhea Perlman's characters in "Matilda." They look tacky and are glued to the television. It almost feels like retribution when this villain, the Ghastly Grinner, turns them into blue-goo-spewing, maniacal, laughing lunatics.

The humor in this episode is campy and over the top and it is perfect. Stereotypical comic book-style cuts are used, there's a character with the ridiculous name of Hooper Picalarro, and the day is saved when Hooper erases the Ghastly Grinner with a crazy big eraser that reads, "For Big Mistakes." Coincidentally, you can buy this eraser online and now I want one. The humor is coupled with a surprisingly frightening villain that appears out of no where and has a voice very similar to Christopher Lloyd in the last scene of "Who Framed Roger Rabbit." And obviously, he is always grinning. His scare factor calls to mind villains like the Joker who will laugh in your face menacingly as they slowly drive you insane. I mean, look what he did to his victims.

"The Tale of the Ghastly Grinner" was definitely a different type of episode for "Are you Afraid of the Dark," but I appreciated its uniqueness and still found myself looking over my shoulder for hours afterward.

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To cap off our top picks, we thought it would only be fitting to end with a list of signs that you, too, were a huge fan of "Are you Afraid of the Dark" as a kid.

You know you were a little obsessed with "Are you Afraid of the Dark" as a kid when...

You groaned when your least favorite Midnight Society member took a seat in that stone chair.
When around a campfire, you grabbed a handful of dirt and tossed it into the fire when no one was looking. You may have whispered under your breath something like, "Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society..."
You passed on putting on any crazy, pinhole glasses. You never knew.
New neighbors were always suspect.
You know about all the callbacks throughout the seasons, including frequently using clowns in sets and use of the term "zeeb" in reference to the first ever episode.
You never trusted adults who constantly corrected the way you said their names - (Dr. Vink with a Vr, Vr, Vr, or Sardoh, no Mr., accent on the 'doh'.)

Something Wicked

Sunday, July 14, 2013

The Best of Halloween on Etsy

Sunday, July 7, 2013

A Tribute to "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"